YEAR 50 daily truths

Summary of the Journey

11/28/2022

These last 2 months were exactly as listed: ups, downs, squeals of joy, fear and mundane moments....repeat. The privilege of experiencing this life crisis is truly a gift. I now understand that time is not a resource to be taken for granted. I struggle to not allow myself to be overwhelmed by this truth.
Time is a resource not to be squandered. Squandered time is subjective. Now to have the wisdom to sort it out! This is one of the many thoughts I have at 3 AM. And probably why my husband drinks.

When life punches you in the face

9/27/2022

I enjoy being active and on the go. What sucks is when life delivers an unexpected punch that derails my plans. Dusting off and getting back to it every single time is just not that simple; especially when the unexpected is completely out of my control.
The constant I do have in life would be how the cycle of unexpected life events rolls out for me:
*get sucker punched
*recover from the hit
*mourn the disappointment
*break free and then
*return to living life carefree, making plans, having expectations and seriously believing I am in control of my life (eye roll)

Controlling the force of life is like harnessing a hurricane.
Relearning this lesson for the thousandth time.

First Steps

9/21/2022

In my experience, plans rarely go smoothly. In fact, I prefer to plan like a "choose your own adventure" novel, with options and back up options. In the past, if things didn't work out I would easily give up. Today, giving up isn't an option. Rather than focus on the failures I am retooling and seeking solutions.

Deciding to "reignite my motivation" began with learning to catch my breath. Literally. There are days my anxiety makes me feel as though I just can't breath. Those are days I am exhausted just trying to function. Well, those are days that I just do what I must do; then I sit by my fireplace and focus on breathing. Then each morning, before my feet touch the floor, I sit up, inhale deeply and exhale slowly. During the day, if that awful overwhelming feeling comes over me, I stand up and again inhale and exhale deeply and slowly.

The next step I took was to acknowledge why I wanted to change. Understanding the why will provide me the strength to continue.

Changing anything requires many little changes. That is crazy overwhelming! Choosing one small change at a time is almost painless. Adding in the next change happens when the first change isn't a change anymore but a part of the regular routine.

Reaching towards positive thinking is a chore when you are a cynic. However with practice, anything is possible! This is where having a healthy dose of comedy is imperative. One of my favourite sources is John Cleese.

The last and most important piece was picking out supporters. Negative naysayers need not apply. Part of my problem is the negative self-talk I hear in my mind all day and all night; the last thing I need is to hear all of my insecurities and failures reinforced out loud too.

Not a perfect plan, but this is what worked for me.

GOALS

9/20/2022

I am not a fan of journaling. Writing out my goals and measuring my progress is a bit of a nightmare. But the alternative of rotting in my rut is definitely no longer an option.
So here we go, in no particular order:

Return to a regular fitness routine
Recertify my Aquatic Certifications
Teaching Aquatic Fitness weekly
Reestablish B-Board Fitness
Grow the SUP Guelph community
Recertify my Personal Training Certifications
Ride a horse
Learn to use my longboard
Do a chin up
Do a handstand

Each of this goals will be broken down into doable steps. Some of these goals might take longer than a year. The good news is I have already begun!

Do you have stuff to do but feel as though your motivation is flat? You are welcome to join in my quest to get shit done this year. I will share with you what strategies worked for me. I will also share when strategies needed to be retooled.

This isn't going to be easy but at least it will be fun!

Today's strategy:
When you want to get started on a goal but feel overwhelmed, invite a friend.

Respect To Her Service

9/8/2022

My privilege and obligation

9/7/2022

I fully acknowledge how deeply fortunate I was and am. Born to parents that were able provide a secure and loving childhood afforded me a strong foundation in life. This fortunate fate gave me the ability to identify a worthy life partner and made me worthy of him. Now it is our obligation to give our children a soft place to land too.

Doing My Best

9/6/2022

Life balance is a HUGE topic of interest to the overtly overwhelmed me.
How can I better manage my life in the same 24 hours that everyone else has?
Then I remember a few facts:
Fact #1
Everyone has different circumstances, abilities and tools.
Fact #2
If I lose my balance in life and fall, unless I am dead I can choose to get up again.
Fact #3
Dwelling in regret never improved anyone's mood.

This innate need to continuously compare myself to the perceived success of others is exhausting. I wish I could turn it off. Walking that fine line of wanting to improve myself and still maintain my confidence and self worth is quite the balance act too.

Ultimately, the only gage I have is my contentment. Only then do I truly know I am doing my best.

The Ultimate Fall Fair

9/3/2022

The Canadian National Exhibition (CNE) affectionately known as the "EX", holds many fond childhood memories. The rides, the food, the souvenirs!
It was where I fell in love with my husband 28 years ago. This year my 20 year old daughter joined us with her boyfriend. Exciting place for young and old love.
As soon as my feet touch the grounds of the EX, I instantly feel youthful! There is no holding me back. I must go on my favourite rides: Polar Express and Tilt-A-World. I must visit the Better Living Center and see the farm exhibits. Then off to the Queen Elizabeth building for shopping and The Coca-Cola Coliseum for shows; there just isn't enough time!!!!
The smell of sugar in the air, the sound of the jets in the sky, and the sight of happy people everywhere have me bursting with energy.

Summer Child

9/1/2022

This year I am going to do my very best not to entirely hate every moment that is not summer. I promise to make the most of wet, cold, grey days. Misery will be replaced with grace when the freezing rain and relentless snow beat my car windows. Wearing socks and mittens and layers of clothes will be met with pleasure. Joy and sarcasm will be my guide.

Time Well Spent

8/31/2022

I feel my age when I look at my children. It's okay, I want them to grow and enjoy life. Every moment I enjoy with my kids is treasured. The yelling, the eye rolling, the messes, the smelly smells, the tears, the hugs, the kisses, all of it.
Every mother's experience is as unique as the child mothered. But not the messes and the smells. They are totally the same. Gross and disgusting.

Author

Rather than experience this aging crisis alone ... I am inviting you to join in on the fun! I am on my way to 50 years of age. As I journey towards that 50th birthday, I will share my daily thoughts, triumphs, and disappointments. Don't worry it is not going to be all that good or polished - just honest, raw, and perhaps a bit of a train wreck.
Why share? Good question! In case there is someone out there also struggling with aging and would enjoy a laugh and connection. I assure you there will be no preaching. You will most likely not gain any useful tips - mmmm, maybe on what NOT TO DO.
Enjoy

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