First Steps

In my experience, plans rarely go smoothly. In fact, I prefer to plan like a "choose your own adventure" novel, with options and back up options. In the past, if things didn't work out I would easily give up. Today, giving up isn't an option. Rather than focus on the failures I am retooling and seeking solutions. 

Deciding to "reignite my motivation" began with learning to catch my breath. Literally. There are days my anxiety makes me feel as though I just can't breath. Those are days I am exhausted just trying to function. Well, those are days that I just do what I must do; then I sit by my fireplace and focus on breathing.  Then each morning, before my feet touch the floor, I sit up, inhale deeply and exhale slowly. During the day, if that awful overwhelming feeling comes over me, I stand up and again inhale and exhale deeply and slowly. 

The next step I took was to acknowledge why I wanted to change. Understanding the why will provide me the strength to continue. 

Changing anything requires many little changes. That is crazy overwhelming!  Choosing one small change at a time is almost painless. Adding in the next change happens when the first change isn't a change anymore but a part of the regular routine.

Reaching towards positive thinking is a chore when you are a cynic. However with practice, anything is possible! This is where having a healthy dose of comedy is imperative. One of my favourite sources is John Cleese. 

The last and most important piece was picking out supporters. Negative naysayers need not apply. Part of my problem is the negative self-talk I hear in my mind all day and all night; the last thing I need is to hear all of my insecurities and failures reinforced out loud too. 

Not a perfect plan, but this is what worked for me.