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Time Well Spent

8/31/2022

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I feel my age when I look at my children. It's okay, I want them to grow and enjoy life. Every moment I enjoy with my kids is treasured. The yelling, the eye rolling, the messes, the smelly smells, the tears, the hugs, the kisses, all of it.
Every mother's experience is as unique as the child mothered. But not the messes and the smells. They are totally the same. Gross and disgusting.
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Laughter Beats All

8/30/2022

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Happy, healthy laughter is contagious AND therapeutic. It may not repair physical health, but laughter does have very positive effects on the body. 
I LOVE laughter! My laughter is loud and frequent. I seek good humour, which is probably why I am enchanted by my friend Geraldine. This beautiful soul wears a smile everyday, sharing her laughter with everyone. Her philosophy of life is to enjoy each day as it comes. ​Geraldine's genuine joy brings strength. Her wonderful wit and sarcasm makes the day sparkle.

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GOAL 1, Check!!!!

8/29/2022

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The time had come to challenge my aquatic fitness leadership certification. Contacting my mentor and assessor, I was given just less than a week to prepare. 
Visualizing, practicing, reviewing ... it was a nerve wrecking week! What if I really do suck???
Exam day came and the outcome was success. More importantly my confidence received the boost it needed. 
Lucky for me, I have a great group of supporters. 
​Thank you.
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1 Month to Official Start

8/26/2022

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Next month, on the fourth Monday it officially begins. I will document my journey towards fitness and professional goals for 1 year. Sharing my daily progress is to help keep me accountable and focused. 

What do you do to manage your goals?

In the past I would set end dates, make a commitment with a friend, even join a class or group. However, since the pandemic shut-down, I feel  deflated, continuously tired and negative. To break free from this rut, I am going public about it. 

Do you want help with accountability too? We can do this together! It won't be easy ... just typing about it makes me wanna nap.

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Vacation State of Mind

8/25/2022

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Travelling abroad is not one of my favourite things to do. I have been on an airplane 3 times in my life. My husband and I haven't travelled together further than 6 hours in one direction by car; all destinations within our province.  
Instead, I have chosen to build a lifestyle that has a build-in "vacation state of mind". Enjoying the world closer to home has given me a greater appreciation of my corner of the world. My excursions include outdoor adventures, cultural events and historical landmarks. Fortunately, living in Southwestern Ontario provides me with many incredible places to visit. In fact, there are more places in our province to discover than I will be able to enjoy in my lifetime. 
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Congratulations Mario!

8/24/2022

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Teaching SUP boarding to beginners is a passion of mine. Being on the lake, and guiding others through a new experience are added rewards. 
It also reminds me that learning new skills is positive vulnerability. 
I am usually embarrassed when learning something new. Worried about looking stupid, I sometimes avoid trying new experiences. It might be because I allow hecklers in my life to eat away at my fragile confidence. 
It is so easy to tell someone else not to allow their ego to be bruised by hurtful words. Snide remarks, "harmless" teasing, it builds up over a life time. Then the countless replaying of those words continue to reopen concealed wounds. 
One goal I continue to work towards, is to get over it! Face the awkwardness of learning something new. Ripping out the over played recording of those mean voices out of my mind and stomping on them will glee.

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Going Grey

8/23/2022

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It was my mother that first noticed the grey hairs on my head. She was devastated. How could she be old enough to have a child with grey hairs!
I think the grey and silver blends nicely with my natural blonde, so I actually like it. 
I have coloured my hair and have had highlights done. Not to hide what was happening naturally but to help add volume to my thin hair strands!

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Monday 1, Monday 2, Monday 3, jr Friday, Friday, Saturday, Pre-Monday

8/22/2022

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***CONTENT WARNING:
This content discusses depression***

For years, I have been living with a weight on my chest. Most days I go out in public with a happy face and no one has a clue that I feel like I can't breath. I know this because many people are shocked when they find out I am a high-functioning depressive. The truth is when I get home, I slump onto the coach or even head straight to bed, exhausted from exerting ALL the possible energy I could find to fake my way through the day. 
Sharing this truth about myself will hit home to many others, I am sure. There are so many of us! Wandering around, believing we're the only ones feeling this awful while trying to fool the world that we're "just fine".
There have been many times when  I finally couldn't hold it together for another moment. It was not good. Lost friends, lost jobs, lost family support. Whatever. 
The crappy part is, this will never go away. Not with journaling in some stupid gratitude journal. Not with diet change. Not with exercise. Not with counselling. Not even with medication. Do you know how I know? I have been living with this since I was 15 years old. Believe me I have tried EVERYTHING. 
I am not looking for advice. Actually, all I am seeking is understanding. If that that doesn't work for you, well then, I will miss you. I am not going to change.
For those of you also struggling, I am with you. 

***PLEASE if you are having a very dark day and you are in crisis, help is available at 1.833.456.4566 toll-free, anytime – or text 45645 between 4 p.m. and midnight ET.*** 
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Rediscovering Friendship

8/19/2022

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For the last 20 years, my social life was shaped by my role as a mother. Oh! It was a wonderful time of my life. Delightful excursions with friends, with all our children. Picnics, parades, parks - you name it, we enjoyed it. However friendships independent of my family were not cultivated. 
​Naturally, as the kids grew older the paradigm of my social life shifted. In this new phase of my life, I am enjoying friends of my very own! 
Today I celebrate my friendship with Jaye. Love that we enjoy similar interests. Our conversations can be poignant AND super silly within a breath of each other. I am very grateful to have a friend available for quick walks in the neighbourhood and evening paddles around our local lake. 





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Mermaids and Unicorns

8/18/2022

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My mother would roll her eyes and ask when I was going to let go of such childishness...20 years ago. Evidently, I intend to continue my enjoyment of fairy tales and associated paraphernalia.
It is also lovely when people around me support my diversion with enchanting gifts. 
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    Author

    Rather than experience this aging crisis alone ... I am inviting you to join in on the fun! I am on my way to 50 years of age. As I journey towards that 50th birthday, I will share my daily thoughts, triumphs, and disappointments. Don't worry it is not going to be all that good or polished - just honest, raw, and perhaps a bit of a train wreck.
    Why share? Good question! In case there is someone out there also struggling with aging and would enjoy a laugh and connection. I assure you there will be no preaching. You will most likely not gain any useful tips - mmmm, maybe on what NOT TO DO.
    Enjoy

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