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***CONTENT WARNING:
This content discusses depression***

For years, I have been living with a weight on my chest. Most days I go out in public with a happy face and no one has a clue that I feel like I can't breath. I know this because many people are shocked when they find out I am a high-functioning depressive. The truth is when I get home, I slump onto the coach or even head straight to bed, exhausted from exerting ALL the possible energy I could find to fake my way through the day. 
Sharing this truth about myself will hit home to many others, I am sure. There are so many of us! Wandering around, believing we're the only ones feeling this awful while trying to fool the world that we're "just fine".
There have been many times when  I finally couldn't hold it together for another moment. It was not good. Lost friends, lost jobs, lost family support. Whatever. 
The crappy part is, this will never go away. Not with journaling in some stupid gratitude journal. Not with diet change. Not with exercise. Not with counselling. Not even with medication. Do you know how I know? I have been living with this since I was 15 years old. Believe me I have tried EVERYTHING. 
I am not looking for advice. Actually, all I am seeking is understanding. If that that doesn't work for you, well then, I will miss you. I am not going to change.
For those of you also struggling, I am with you. 

***PLEASE if you are having a very dark day and you are in crisis, help is available at 1.833.456.4566 toll-free, anytime – or text 45645 between 4 p.m. and midnight ET.***